Six Embarrassing Summer Tales and Their Practical Cures

Oops, You Didn't Really See that Coming, Did You?

Many things happen during summer time that you never expect. I won't confess who these really happened to, but please feel free to assume it happened to the author. All the names are made up. But just know up front, I'm not ever telling who, so don't ask. So, now that you know the ground rules, here are some of the worst summer tales I've heard:

Number Six: Ty the Guy and His Raw Chicken

You're sure Ty's from New York City, not that I'm prejudiced or anything, but there's just this way he clings to his suit that says big city. He shows up for the after work hike. All after work hikes provide 2 hours to go uphill, 45 minutes to cook and eat a hot dog, and one hour back down so you don't stumble too badly in the dark. Everything goes wrong at the start, one person after another shows up and puts on their boots at the last minute and then the hike has to be moved because the trail is closed. Finally, you reach the top of the hill around 8:30 pm and someone starts a small fire for the hotdogs. Ty pulls out a recently purchased raw chicken breast. He needs to borrow a knife to open the package. He finds a stick and shoves it through the breast and holds it over the fire. He doesn't know that raw chicken with the bone in takes 45 minutes to cook. He refuses any help. Eventually he gnaws on a still pink in the inside breast, while walking downhill, his original container seeping bacteria laden juices down his back. Your guess is as good as mine about whether he gets ill or not.

Solutions: This is not the only summer barbecue nightmare you will encounter. Know your cook time-most cook books have a chart. Chop up raw meats in small pieces. Only reheat cooked food once. Beware of leaving raw meats out in the sun. Beware of condiments with eggs in them left out in the sun-i.e horse radish, dressings, mayonnaise, tartar sauce. Reuse plastic shopping bags for garbage.

Number Five: Gung-ho Greta and the Weed Whacker