Life as a Naval Academy Girlfriend

So You Want to Date a Midshipman?

By Kate F, published Jun 11, 2007
Published Content: 28  Total Views: 58,853  Favorited By: 4 CPs
Rating: 3.0 of 5
Dating is hard. Dating someone attending the Naval Academy, or the other service academies for that matter, is next to insanity. So why do hundreds of girls and guys go through the heartache of dating an Academy student? No, it is not masochism, just plain old-fashioned true love, made all the more attractive by, of course, the uniform, and the life lived to higher ideals.

I started dating my now-husband the summer after his "plebe" or freshman year. That summer started off a long series of good-byes that continue today. Since we did not start dating until after his first year, I did not get to experience life dating a plebe. Let me give you the general idea: plebes are stuck in Annapolis for the entire school year, excepting Thanksgiving, Winter and Spring Breaks. Their schedules are exceedingly regulated, and while they can communicate with the outside world, they do not have a lot of extra time to do so. Johannah McCammant, whose boyfriend just finished his plebe year, gave me some insight into the difficulties and the rewards of dating a first year academy student: "Plebe year was extremely intimidating. Randy and I had been together for three years before the Academy. I remember the first time I went on the yard [campus] with Randy's family and him, and he met a firstie [senior, or First Class] and the firstie asked him if I was his girlfriend. He said yes, and the firstie told Randy that he had a girlfriend during Plebe year...but they went their separate ways after that. I remember while he was telling Randy this story I was hanging onto his hand for dear life, in some way trying to tell him that that wasn't going to be us. Well, obviously it wasn't, but the year did not come without its challenges. There were times I wondered if this was really what I wanted for myself, but at the end of the day, I knew I wouldn't have it any other way. In many ways we've become closer to each other, but at the same time more of our own person, a chance to develop into who we are, but still able to lean on each other across the miles."

VP Cheney addressing the graduates in 2006.

Credit: Kate F.

Copyright: Kate F.

Comments
Showing Comments 1 - 7 of 7
 
 
My boyfriend is currently in the Marine Corps Reserves we've been saving up to be financially ready to get engaged and married. He asked me today how I'd feel about him going to USNA. I didn't know what to say. His dream is to be an Officer and to take care of me and hopefully children one day. I don't want to be selfish. As a daughter of a Naval Fighter pilot who retired only a month ago, I know the life as a Military dependent is hard and what it entails, but it's the only life I have ever known. What makes it so worthwhile to go to USNA, instead of just going to a state college and OCS? And, What can I do to prepare to part from him? We live in florida so I don't think permit-able weekend visits would be financially possible. What should I know other than what you wrote about? I just don't want to make a selfish decision and tell him no, don't go because he will regret it his whole life if he doesn't go.

Posted on 05/02/2008 at 12:05:58 PM

 
We all have the same struggles...yet,if you're like me and my mid,we have noticed that we almost seem happier than your average everyday couple!

Posted on 03/26/2008 at 2:03:10 PM

 
If you can't deal with it now, you definitely won't be able to deal with it later... As a military brat, mid-girlfriend, and now a military spouse, I know that this is only the beginning. Being strong during these unexpected times is what sets you apart as a military dependent. You should just settle in because you are going to be dealing with these things for as long as he is in the military. It is a fun adventure, full of ups and downs. Enjoy it!

Posted on 12/17/2007 at 12:12:56 AM

 
Oh, honey, wait till married life in the "big-boy" Navy. It gets so much worse... :-) And so much more of a blessing!

Posted on 12/09/2007 at 8:12:13 AM

 
Part 3... of the comment. ...Not everyone is cut out to have a relationship with someone who attends a military academy. However, those who do still pursue such a relationship are a blessing. They can help keep their midshipmen's morale up, and provide support through all the thick and thins of life at the academy. So without trying to allude to a pun, I salute those who attempt a relationship between a civilian and a student of a military academy.

Posted on 06/12/2007 at 6:06:00 PM

 
(comment continued) ...We need to rely on a trip going as expected otherwise we might be flushing a plane ticket, hotel room expenses, taxi expenses, and whatever else down the toilet... And I know no one enjoys that! But above all that, I would never have it any other way. I love my midshipman with all my heart, and I would never leave his side. Being a part of a midshipman's life is very rewarding also. It opens our eyes to seeing the heroism of attending a military academy where young men and women sacrifice certain aspects of their lives in order to serve their country and the citizens who call this place home. Being the girlfriend (or boyfriend) of a midshipmen means that you also serve in your own way... You must give up the type of relationship most couples experience when in college. Like the article says, not only do you experience a long distance relationship, but one with other obstacles. Not everyone is cut out to have a relationship with someone who attends a militar

Posted on 06/12/2007 at 6:06:00 PM

 
I liked the article.. But I felt like it ended abit abruptly... The article didn't delve much into how unpredictable the Academy is and how hard they are to work with at times... Like how you can't plan a trip and have insured time with your mid (They don't hand out chits until last minute...) Or how you plan to go up there and have all this free time with them.. Then they aren't even allowed to leave the yard? Or how your mid thinks he's going to get the summer schedule he selected, because all of his friends got theirs.. And you plan for a long summer together, and then 2/3 of it is taken away? I think that's what frustrates me most with the USNA... You can never PLAN anything... And with most of us (USNA Significant others) being a part of long distance relationships... And when the majority of us don't have all the money in the world to throw around... We need to rely on a trip going as expected otherwise we might be flushing a plane ticket, hotel room expenses, taxi expenses,

Posted on 06/12/2007 at 6:06:00 PM

Type in Your Comments Below
Your name:

Submit your own content on this or any topic. Get started »
Showing Comments 1 - 7 of 7
 
Most Commented On