Uncle Jake's Guide to Boredom Or, How to Remedy Boredom like a Pro

It happens to the best of us.

Sooner or later, we're all struck by that unique sensation. Sometimes it's for a seeming lack of anything we want to do, sometimes it's for being tired of the things we normally enjoy. Heck, sometimes we don't even know why that feeling crops up, but when it's there, there it is, and there's only one cure for it; finding something engaging to do.

A fun fact about boredom is that it's not really an emotion. Rather, it's a paranormal manifestation of everything you've ever thought was bad, wrong, amoral and downright evil given substance, then carefully bleached, filed and polished clean of all the interesting bits. This may be a slap in the face to all the very prim and proper studies performed by various colleagues of mine on the subject, but I assure you, it is 153% true; so true that it's wrapped around and is firmly face-planted just slightly off of center in seeming to be total bull.

Now that this fun fact has been illustrated, thus defining the broadest, most general nature of boredom, let us move on to examining it in greater detail.

We shall, of course, begin at the beginning; the Imminent Onset Phenomena.

Surely you've felt it before. It's that looming sensation somehow reminiscent of a moodily creaking door in a cheesy horror movie that informs you that You Are About To Be Bored. Neurologists might insist that there are many brain-factors that are involved in this, but do not be deceived; it is actually that dreaded boredom beasty breathing on the back of your neck. If you don't believe me, turn around REALLY fast the next time you feel it, but you've got to be quick; the boredom beasty is terrified of being photographed, and sneaks up behind you like that as a means of peering all sneakily over your shoulder to see if you've a camera on your person. When it isn't certain, it will vanish faster than the human eye can follow. Go ahead, try it and see for yourself!

What, you've never noticed how a person with a camera in-hand is never bored? The facts are plain, and I challenge you to refute them!