Listen More Than You Speak - Husband and Wife Relationship

Listening is so important in a good marriage that the lack of good listening skills is one of the main reasons marriages end up in divorce. Francois de La Rochefoucauld, the French author and moralist said, "To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation." Your husband needs to know that you care about him. One way to show him that you care is to listen to him with love. Let him speak while you listen attentively. He needs to express himself to someone he trust. Let him open up to you. If however he does not open up it may be that you have interrupted him so many times in the past that he has assumed that you don't care to listen. So he may feel why bother wasting his time and energy opening up to you when he feels you don't care about what he is saying. If this is the case then you need to restore the communication trust with your husband. He needs to know that he will be able to open up and share with you without your constant interruptions. When you begin to allow him to speak without interrupting, he should begin to feel very pleased inside and will want to talk to you more.

There are some men that just don't talk a lot. That is just their nature. For men like these all the more reason to let them speak. Listen well to him because you never know when he will open up to you again. Look for non verbal communication from your spouse. Such as, deep sighs in his breathing which may indicate that he is tired or bored. Watch for shifting in his body position which may also indicate this. Lack of eye contact, which indicates something has his attention other than you. You should be able to "read" your husband better than anyone. This is especially true if you have been married for at least a few years. If you are newly married, take notes and keep them in a journal. When your husband is stressed how is his behavior? When he is sad or worried what affect does it have on your husband? When he is in the mood for intimacy what indications does he give to you? Over a short period of time you will begin to know your husband very well and be able to respond more lovingly and caring.