How to Talk to a Newly Diagnosed Cancer Patient

Thankfully, we no longer live in the age of "Cancer is a death sentence." Many people who are diagnosed with cancer today are treated successfully and enjoy long-term survival, and in some cases, complete cure. More people today talk freely about their cancer diagnosis than 10 or 20 years ago. However, one thing that may not have changed is how we react to the person who has just told us about his or her cancer diagnosis. Depending on the relationship, the type of cancer, and the person's perceived prognosis, one may not know how to react and what to say to that person.

Having been diagnosed with breast cancer almost 10 years ago, I experienced the full range of reactions. Some people were very supportive and not afraid to speak to me. Some people avoided me. Some were very upset and I had to calm them down. Some friends disappeared. Other friends became better friends, and so on. I understood that the negative reactions were not meant to hurt me or bring me down. I recognized them as ways that each of these individuals needed to cope with the situation.

It is not easy to speak to someone who has a life threatening illness. However, when a relative or friend needs you, you have to think about that person first, and the most important thing you can do is to tell that person that you are there for them. Offer your support in whatever way you can. It might be just offering to listen to them if they want to talk. It might be offering to drive them to doctor's appointments or helping to pick up groceries or their children from school.