If I Had Breasts

You know...there are lots of things that us guys secretly wish they could be or do. I'm not talking about being a fireman or being the best quarterback ever. Real things. Things that might be possible. Have you ever seen a guy watching a dog lick his balls and the guy says, "If I could do that I wouldn't need a woman." First off, this guy is an idiot and if you are married to one of them, I am sorry...if you associate with a guy that has ever said this, don't...get as far away as possible.

This might be just me, but why in the world would a guy want to suck his own penis and lick his own scrotum? It looks like an uncomfortable position not to mention the work vs. pleasure at the same time thing would probably end in a stalemate or blue balls. It is guys like these that would replace the index finger and thumb on their left hands with a penis and scrotum if they ever got the chance to revise the human body.

I would rather have breasts. Breasts are nice. If I had breasts I could probably get more things and it would also give people a reason to NOT look me in the eye. I mean, I aint an ugly mofo, but I wouldn't mind having something to help entertain someone when they are speaking to me. I get rather bored just talking with a fella face to face and sometimes the scenery just isn't that great. A pair of nice breasts would help ease the conversation and make the situation less stressful. Yes, I even told a guy that once. "If you had breasts, you'd be more interesting to talk to." He agreed...and I wasn't amazed that he did.

In todays modern world it would be possible for me to get breasts if I so desire, but I believe that there should only be one set of breasts in a relationship and my wife already has some. Two sets of breasts would complicate the situation and she'd probably be jealous because mine wouldn't sag and would always be perky. Plus I'd probably end up playing with mine more than hers, so it just wouldn't be fair.