A Memorable Traffic Stop: A Humorous Law Enforcement Story

The streets of north Greenville were unusually quiet and serene that spring evening. I was making my rounds, watching for signs of burglaries and checking the alleys behind the businesses along Lee Street, the old main thoroughfare through downtown.

I'd been looking to the right down a side alley, and then turned my sight forward just in the nick of time. An oncoming vehicle had swerved halfway into my lane and I barely avoided a head-on collision. Time for a little classic Officer Frazier Patrolman Number 14 action.

I slammed on the brakes, twisted the steering wheel hard to the left, yanked the gear shift into reverse and executed a beautiful bat-mobile reverse 180 with one of the tires churning out a cloud of acrid white smoke as the Goodyear Eagle rubber vulcanized against the asphalt.

The gear shift popped in protest as I forced it into drive while the car was still sliding in reverse, then I floored the accelerator and the pursuit package V8 roared in the joy of a newly initiated speed challenge. My Caprice Classic gained velocity and the distance between it and my intended prey closed in a matter of seconds. The violator was speeding along in excess of 32 miles per hour as I loomed up on his back bumper and hit my overhead lights.

At the very next intersection he turned right and decelerated to 30 mph, but it soon became obvious he had no intention of stopping. We continued to the next intersection, where he properly signaled and made another left turn. Assuming I had a drunk on my hands, I hit the siren, knowing from my extensive law enforcement training that the wailing screech would penetrate his fogged mind and make him realize that the long arm of Texas justice was flagging him down.

At the next intersection he made another left and continued at his leisurely place, all the while my massive cruiser was wailing and flashing like a rolling Vegas slot machine on a jackpot spin right on his bumper.

I decided to call for backup after a quick mental calculation that told me a pit maneuver probably wouldn't be effective on a 1972 Toranado at 27 miles per hour.