When Your Child Calls Her Step-Mother Mom

Every single, separated, or divorced mother has the same fear. What do you do when your child calls the other woman "Mom?" Pay no mind to whether it is their father's new girlfriend, wife, or whatever she is. Who she is, or what she is, does not lessen the blow of hearing your child call another woman by your name.

I have been through this a couple of times, with varying circumstances. My oldest daughter being in foster care and calling her foster mother "mom" was not quite as devastating, especially considering some of the issues that my daughter has. Although, I will admit that it still tug on my heart a bit when I heard those words for the first time, realizing that my daughter was not talking to me. She still called me "Mom" as well, but it hurt to hear her say it so freely.

When it really hurts is when your child is referring to the new woman in your ex's life. My very painful first experience with this was when my ex-husband remarried the first time. After the divorce, I was struggling to keep up with both our children, who did not get along so well. We mutually decided that we should split custody. He had our son, while I kept our daughter. They were together every weekend whether it is with him or me.

I believe I heard my son call Cassie "mom" before her and my ex were even married. Since my son was barely two-years-old, I knew he did not comprehend that the words he said almost literally ripped my heart out of my chest. Regardless of how much I disliked it, I could not complain too much. Cassie was the one who was there when he woke up in the morning, playing with him during the day, and tucking him into bed at night. Moreover, I fully participated in and agreed to the decisions that ultimately lead to this.