The Pins and Needles Life of a Mature Woman Coping with Diabetes and Sarcoidosis

Building Friendship with Your Significant Other Amidst the Realities of Chronic Illness

My husband of twenty plus years and I had an argument a few weeks ago. We had gone to a work function of his that had run late. For me, this meant that I had to get home and take a shot because my diabetes had been active lately. For him, this meant leaving too soon because he was supposed to help with clean up. I immediately complained that he had never understood my diabetes and he had replied that he had just wanted to go to one function with having to worry about something. We argued for a moment and then he became silent. I think he was worried about hurting my feelings but what he was really doing was shutting me out in his own way. On the other hand, was he asking too much to simply have a night out - we rarely go out - without a hitch?

I have often heard the expression that Saints are sinners who have never given up. My husband has been there through thick and thin though he has seldom understood how I have to live. He keeps trying to help but he views the world through his eyes. In my mind, I picture thousands of couples struggling to ignore the elephant looming in their relationship and their bedroom. "The quality of the marriage was also important to good health, with people in poor marriages in worse health than those in good marriages" (Senay, 2005). How can a chronically ill person and a relatively healthy significant other stay in sync on a physical, spiritual and emotional level? And - in addition - how can a woman feel that her needs are met by a husband who is very likely misunderstanding her frustrations because he is overprotective or rushed?