How and Why to Legally Change Your Child's Surname

Don't Wait Too Long to Establish Their Identity

Since roughly one million children are affected by divorces in the United States every year, and another twenty-five percent are born out of wedlock, it's no surprise that children's surnames are often changed at least once after they are born. I never had the experience myself, but I did
 help my girl friend Rachel Gray* change her son's name. She had good reason to want the change. You see, she was a typical teenage girl who thought she had found her Prince Charming* while in high school. After graduation, Rachel wanted to settle down in that "little white house with the picket fence" with her Prince. So, they married that summer and tried to start a family right away. But it took nearly two years for Rachel to become pregnant. After their son was born, Rachel was told that her health probably wouldn't allow her to have anymore children. The new mother was heartbroken, but she was happy with her family.

Now let's cut to the ending of Rachel's story. Prince Charming didn't dig the family scene afterall. He refused to hold a job, and, soon he split. That left her to raise and support baby Michael* herself. Which she did.

The young mother was understandably bitter towards her soon-to-be-ex-husband. She decided that she would revert to her maiden name instead of keeping her married surname. So, she talked to her divorce lawyer about adding that order to the divorce case. That's a typical happening in many divorces, and the judge who granted her divorce from Prince Charming had no problems with the request.

Rachel easily got sole custody of Michael. Prince Charming was ordered to pay child support, and a visiting schedule was set up. Rachel didn't like the fact that she had a different last name than her son did. But, since his surname was his legal birth name, there was nothing she could do about it.

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  • Since roughly one million children are affected by divorces in the United States every year, and another twenty-five percent are born out of wedlock, it's no surprise that children's surnames are often changed at least once after they are born. I never had the experience myself, but I did help my girl friend Rachel Gray* change her son's name. She had good reason to want the change. You see, she was a typical teenage girl who thought she had found her Prince Charming* while in high school. After graduation, Rachel wanted to settle down in that "little white house with the picket fence" with her Prince. So, they married that summer and tried to start a family right away. But it took nearly two years for Rachel to become pregnant. After their son was born, Rachel was told that her health probably wouldn't allow her to have anymore children. The new mother was heartbroken, but she was happy with her family.Now let's cut to the ending of Rachel's story. Prince Charming didn't dig the family scene afterall. He refused to hold a job, and, soon he split. That left her to raise and support baby Michael* herself. Which she did. The young mother was understandably bitter towards her soon-to-be-ex-husband. She decided that she would revert to her maiden name instead of keeping her married surname. So, she talked to her divorce lawyer about adding that order to the divorce case. That's a typical happening in many divorces, and the judge who granted her divorce from Prince Charming had no problems with the request. Rachel easily got sole custody of Michael. Prince Charming was ordered to pay child support, and a visiting schedule was set up. Rachel didn't like the fact that she had a different last name than her son did. But, since his surname was his legal birth name, there was nothing she could do about it. As it turned out, Michael's father didn't pay support and he didn't visit his son either. By the time her son was ready to attend preschool, Rachel realized that he had abandoned his son for too long. Anyhow, since he was being raised as a "Gray", and not a "Charming", why should he carry his father's name? Rachel is an only child, born to a father who is an only child. That means, there was no one to carry on the Gray name after her father. Add to those powerful reasons that since Michael was going to start school soon, Rachel wanted his last name to be the same throughout his school years. So, she called the lawyer to start the proceedings to change her son's name to her maiden name. Rachel did worry at first about people thinking that her son was illegitimate. But she finally decided to toss her worries aside and "do the right thing." Had Rachel been changing her own name, she could have used a "name-change kit." These kits are inexpensive. They are readily available at your local stationery store. Or, you can find them by performing a search on the Internet. Basically, the kits contain the forms and basic instructions on how to fill them out and file them. But since the change involved a minor child who had another parent who had parental rights, (although he was absent), the child's best interests had to be taken into consideration. Now, you know that laws and courts vary from state to state. But if a child's father is actively supporting him or her, and fulfilling his role as a parent, then a court will generally uphold the father's right to have his children carry his surname. Since Michael's father had abandoned him, this helped to prove Rachel's case. She had a very strong relationship with her son. Her parents and extended family members were quite close to him as well. Rachel's lawyer filled out and filed the legal forms at the local courthouse. A court date was then set up. In the mean time, her attorney had to write up a legal announcement. The announcement basically stated that the court was going to hear the case involving changing Michael's name from "Charming" to "Gray." The date, time, location, and other pertinent information was listed as well. The lawyer then had to publish the ditty in the local newspaper for three days. Since Rachel didn't have a known address for her ex-husband, this announcement served as a legal public notice. Prince Charming never appeared in court to fight his son's name change. Therefore, the presiding judge easily ordered in Rachel's favor. Besides, he found that changing Michael's surname was best for the child. Even if Prince had shown up, the judge would have weighed the facts in the case to decide the outcome. Some items he or she would have looked at were: how long the child has already carried his/her father's last name; the strength of the relationship between the mother and child; the strength of the relationship between the father and child; and if the name change is necessary in order for the child to be identified as part of his/her family. Even if a judge allows you to change your child's surname, their birth certificate remains the same. The reason for this is so the child's father remains identified. A name change doesn't interfere with child support, visiting schedules, or any other parental duties and responsibilities. *Name Changed for Confidentiality Adult names can be easily changed; minors' names are more complicated.Even though their name is changed, a child's birth certificate remains the same.Judges take the relationships between the child and parents into account.It's common for a family to change their surname for simplicity sake. For example, Jennifer's family changed their surname from Anastassakis to Aniston. Born "Apollos Rivoire", he changed his name to "Paul Revere" because it was easier to pronounce. It's the same reason actor Walter
 
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my baby's father just dumped me and no longer supports me or my son...i have a granted vpo against him but now i need to change my toddler's last name to my own...what are the procedures in doing so??

Posted on 05/14/2009 at 1:05:32 PM

um....everyone in here has kids. I don't and I will never have them due to infertility problems. ( sad, I know) Anyways, I am 21 about to be 22...and I would like to have my fathers last name. Now, he isn't my real father, legally and biologically speaking. He has been there ever since my real father nearly succeeded in killing me when I was 2 years old.....thanks to my mum, I am alive today. My mother and ,as much as I hate to say this because it hurts me to know he isn't my real father....step-father are going to get married finally after 18 or 19 years. I want my last name to be his before this. I have wanted this since I was 10 years old. How hard would it be for me to change my last name? and what would I have to do to make this happen? also my brother is 18....he wants the same thing....thank you in advanced!

Posted on 12/18/2008 at 12:12:51 AM

My wife, who was never married with her ex,had two children with him and now they are going through legal visitation battle and the 9 and 11 year olds do not want their given last name because its their fathers name. Can they ( or we) legally change their name?

Posted on 10/20/2008 at 11:10:19 AM

hi i am wanting to change my childs last name he was given the surname of a step grandparent that is no longer involve in his life he would like to have the grandmothers surname how difficult would this be he is 14 yrs old . what can we do?

Posted on 09/02/2008 at 4:09:50 PM

i have a 2 yr. old son. named Izaiah. he is so amazing and the light of my life. he changed my life completely. his biological father has never supported him. i have since he was born. his so called dad recenly got released from jail. and has not attempted to make contact or any effort to see MY Son. i would love to change my sons middle and last name. but im not sure on what to do. Do i need his biological fathers consent in changing my sons name. please help me.

Posted on 08/30/2008 at 1:08:15 PM

My son was born 6 years ago June and I was, at the time, living with his biological father, or to be honest he was loving with me, since I owned the house. He was physically and verbally abusive and we split up when my son was less than a year old. I started going with and eventually married another man with 2 children. He also was abusive so we are now getting a divorce. Last year my son started school and I enrolled him under my husbands last name, because he was in the same school as his two step-sisters. I do not want my husbands last name and I definately do not want my son to continue using it. The biological father has never paid a penny in child support and does not have a problem with the name change. Is there a simple solution? We live in Oklahoma.

Posted on 08/28/2008 at 4:08:27 PM

My brother got married for the wrong reason and has had to live with the consequences ever since. His wife doesn't love him and tries to make his life a living hell. To make a long story shorter, they have a four yr old together. The childs last name is her maiden name. My brother would love for his child to have his last name. The problem is she won't change the childs last name because if there is ever a divorce, she thinks that she or her parents could get custody not having my brothers and her last name. I AM LOOKING FOR SOME KIND OF ADVICE

Posted on 08/07/2008 at 1:08:43 AM

i have a son that will be 7 in august and i had gotten married in june of 2006. now heres my problem. my husband is not the bio logical father so we desided to give him my maiden last name when he was born in 2001. the bio logical father has had no kind of contact with him from day 1. now my son wants his last name changed to my married last name. can i get that done and how?

Posted on 04/11/2008 at 11:04:10 AM

Yes you will be going to be able to change it and yes the father will have to agree on it.

Posted on 02/15/2008 at 11:02:36 AM

im in high school still and at the time the baby was born i was completley in love with the father and i thought he would be there forever but he isnt and now my baby is almost one and no father. i just want to get his last name dropped from my sons name so he just has my name and not both his father and I . so can anyone tell me how to do that ?

Posted on 01/30/2008 at 8:01:00 AM

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