If you've been through the experience of being stalked by an ex-lover, then you know how scary it can be. Unbalanced people who stalk come in all sizes, shapes and colors. It can be difficult to see just how troubled they are until a relationship is formed and emotions are invested. Frequently, when you do figure out that the person you're with is a real nut-case, it's too late to let them down easy and they are "hooked." Here are a few tips on getting away from someone that you no longer want to be with, when they refuse to let you go.
Be firm with your decision
If you tell the person that the relationship is over and they cry, don't soften and try to comfort them. Mean what you say and keep your boundaries firm. If the person sees that their getting upset sparks a sympathetic reaction from you, they're going to try and milk it for whatever they can to "buy time." Don't fall for it. If you waffle, you're sending mixed messages, and the person will think that there is hope. Show that there is no hope, and that the relationship is over. No long, drawn out explanation is necessary. It is what it is. They may want to have "closure" and try to bargain or discuss it with you. Nip it in the bud quickly and get to the point when you break it off, don't get sucked into re-explaining it. The person knows it's over, but wants to keep you talking.
Cut off all contact completely
Assuming you don't have children together, cut off contact with the person you no longer want to be with. Many times, they won't take "no" for an answer and will keep pushing. Change your home phone or cell phone numbers if necessary. Tell others that the two of you knew together that the relationship is over, and not to encourage him or her to reconcile because there is no hope of it, end of story. Friends will understand this and respect your wishes. The idea is to discourage anyone from giving your ex any information about you, to feed the "addiction."
Make sure your home is secure
Be firm with your decision
If you tell the person that the relationship is over and they cry, don't soften and try to comfort them. Mean what you say and keep your boundaries firm. If the person sees that their getting upset sparks a sympathetic reaction from you, they're going to try and milk it for whatever they can to "buy time." Don't fall for it. If you waffle, you're sending mixed messages, and the person will think that there is hope. Show that there is no hope, and that the relationship is over. No long, drawn out explanation is necessary. It is what it is. They may want to have "closure" and try to bargain or discuss it with you. Nip it in the bud quickly and get to the point when you break it off, don't get sucked into re-explaining it. The person knows it's over, but wants to keep you talking.
Cut off all contact completely
Assuming you don't have children together, cut off contact with the person you no longer want to be with. Many times, they won't take "no" for an answer and will keep pushing. Change your home phone or cell phone numbers if necessary. Tell others that the two of you knew together that the relationship is over, and not to encourage him or her to reconcile because there is no hope of it, end of story. Friends will understand this and respect your wishes. The idea is to discourage anyone from giving your ex any information about you, to feed the "addiction."
Make sure your home is secure
|
|