Limericks to Lighten the Load of the World

Trying to absorb the news of the world through the filter of reality is tough enough. But I've always found that digesting the insanity of the world through different art forms such as limericks can help us feel better and sort out things easier. So let's enter a pub in 'ol Ireland where a duel of limericks is underway as we realize these tipsy but creative people actually know about us better than we do...

The word Paris is amidst...and it's hell!
A new Prez in France elected as well.
One contends that she's hot,
Some in France wish both'd rot,
No guillotines in a U.S. prison cell.

The winner of American Idol is Sparks
First name is Jordin, who sings with the larks.
The bored, though, join Simon,
Something different needs good timin',
Next season winner to be one who barks?

Some say George W. and Laura have split.
It's all in the rags that dabble in shmidt.
If George is back on the bottle,
Managing Iraq at full throttle...
Wait 'til Laura's seen with Brad Pitt!

Hilary and Barack will likely shill,
To team up and create a huge chill.
But history would be made,
There'd still be Roe vs. Wade,
And a law watching First Husbands named Bill.

Get Zwinky! Get Zwinky!
Get Zwinky! Get Zwinky!
Get Zwinky! Get Zwinky!
Get Zwinky! Get Zwinky!
Get Kinky! Get Stinky!

The price is wrong as Bob Barker has quit.
35 years on and mornings we no longer sit.
If Rosie does host the Price...
She knows the price of A-Roni-Rice?
Bob's Return to the Farewell has been lit.

Speaking of Rosie, leaving "The View" in a huff,
Donald Trump's getting bored, and it's tough.
While it's neither here nor there,
Don't also frustrate The Don's hair,
If it hosts the 'The View', it's not nearly as gruff.

Government corruption cases we read on the 'puter.
The endless Libby case alone makes us want to neuter.
Litigation is a Kafkaesque nightmare,
Even though lawyers still just might bare,
Convicting parents who named their kid Scooter.

"America's Got Talent!" says the summer show,
Which still hasn't been proven as it hits a new low.
The Hoff should get involved to open a door,
And compete while eating a burger on the floor,
In Germany, it'd so bring him a new cash flow.