How to Deal with Guys Who Won't Stop Shopping Online

by Evan Marc Katz, America's leading dating expert

Hey Evan,

Full disclosure: I do some of what you do (see romancelanguage.org). Anyway, first I just wanted to say that you do excellent work, and that your perspective is very helpful (mine is that of a widowed 50ish woman -- and though of course there are similarities across the dating world, different demographics are, well ... different). Quoting from you:

"Online dating has leveled the playing field for guys to an unhealthy point. In the past, we'd get a phone number at a bar and it would be the highlight of our week. Now, guys can collect phone numbers and discard them with no second thoughts. However, this doesn't mean these guys are players or slimeballs or just out for sex. It just means they have too many options and are always trying to trade up. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it's not a crime. Plenty of nice men are dazzled with the array of beauty on dating sites and feel that they should just keep shopping."

Very, very well said and very true. I would love to read an expansion of this, specifically advice to women in the face of it. One way to go is of course to say bye bye baby to the guy who doesn't have the sense to stop shopping in the face of your fabulousness. On the other hand, that can be a little draconian -- as you say, this medium does encourage the "if I found this great woman, think what must still be out there" mentality -- so I can't bring myself to instantly trash the guy who believes it. Would love your opinion.

Yours in coaching solidarity,

Erika

Dear Erika,

Every coach probably has his/her own method for trying to assess things clearly. Our value comes in the ability to see things objectively, and to translate this insight into practical advice. My not-so-secret method for giving dating advice to men and women? Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Ingenious, I know.