Why Dating Abuse is Everyone's Business

Imagine being choked, smacked, spit on, or even shot by the man you love. Thousands of young women go through this and more everyday. Many young women today seem to think this behavior is acceptable or they do nothing to stop it from happening. I can count on both my hands how many girls I know who are being abused by their boyfriends. It's always the same story. At first he was sweet, nice, loving, etc. but it always turns around quickly. Within a couple of weeks the pattern of abuse starts to emerge. Now he's telling her what she can wear, who she can see or talk to, and he picks fights with her.

A couple months down the road the relationship progresses from verbally arguing to physical altercations. All of my friends have told me of times their boyfriend pushed them, kicked them, or even spit on them. Even I have experienced some of this in my past relationships. Once a relationship turns to physical abuse, no matter how small the incident, it will get worse. First it begins with small stuff like pushing and slapping, then it quickly turns into kicking, punching, biting, pulling hair, and worse.

For 13 years I watched my mother get abused by my father. She was a young mother, married at 19, and two kids by age 21. From my earliest memories, maybe around age 3 or 4, I can recall my mother bleeding from her nose after suffering a punch to the face from my father. Another memory I recall quite clearly happened when I was about 7. My mother was pregnant and we were visiting my aunt who lived in an upstairs apartment. On the way up the my mother and father began arguing and a few seconds later my dad pushed her down the entire flight of stairs. I remember lots of other times like this. Now, that I'm grown I wonder why she put up with the abuse for so many years. It never made any sense until it happened to me and my friends.