Coping with Infertility: A Guide for Family and Friends

"When are you going to have kids?" For a couple dealing with infertility the questions cut like a knife. An estimated 15 % of couples are considered to be infertile, defined as an inability to conceive after a year of trying. It is a silent epidemic because of the emotions involved. It is common for people diagnosed as infertile to go through a period of mourning. They may have feelings of failure and fear that it is a sign that they are somehow broken or flawed. Because of these intense feelings of shame it is not uncommon for couples dealing with infertility to keep the condition quiet even from their closest family and friends who may unknowingly make the situation worse with their questions about when the patter of little feet will be coming.

There's no way to tell that someone is infertile by just looking at them. Which is why it is best to avoid questioning couples about their baby plans totally, especially in social situations where they may be unable to discuss their issues freely. Even seemingly small phrases like, "You're going to make a great Mom" or "With those looks your kids are going to be lucky" can be a devastating reminder of the condition. If you suspect that a loved one may be having difficulty conceiving it is usually best to wait for them to come to you instead of confronting them about it. When they are ready to talk about it they will.