Two Under Three

When my oldest son was a baby, I was the Chairman of the Sunshine and Light Mommies Committee. You know the ones with their perfect babies and their over flowing joy. Even though my son was a needy one who cried more than his fair share, nursed 45 minutes on, 45 minutes off all day long, and had to stay latched on all night long or he’d wake screaming, I was happy. I was blissful. My house was perfect, I was still able to take care of myself and look put together. My baby was shiny and clean and dressed to the nines each morning. I was so in love with my firstborn that I couldn’t wait to make for him a younger sibling. I loved being a mother. I loved caring for my baby. And when he was 10 months old and my fertility came back it screamed to me to make another little precious bundle. And so we did that very month.

Unfortunately we lost that baby at 13 weeks to causes unknown. Now, some women would have taken that as a sign. They might have waited to heal emotionally from the loss. They might have waited for their older child to wean. They might have even gone so far as to see it as evidence that they were not quite ready to add baby number two to the mix. But not me! I wanted another baby and I wanted him NOW! When my son was 16 months old I became pregnant again and the pregnancy was a successful one that ended with a healthy, beautiful baby brother for my older son. I was ecstatic.

And then my husband went back to work when the baby was two weeks old. I did fine at first running here and there caring for these two little boys. Then things got hard. First, when the baby was 2 months old, I lost my full-time telecommuting job because I refused to spend at least part time in the office. I didn’t want to leave my little ones with anyone else.