"Christian Reading Always Carefully Keeps People Off Things" Targets Pokémon

"Although Christian Reading Always Carefully Keeps People Off Things Ministries may have been started with the intent to save young people lured into Witchcraft by the works of Satanic author J.K. Rowling, the end of the series is sadly not the end of our work," commented Reverned Zeke Gage, head of CRACKPOT ministries. "I have stated before in recent interviews that there are plenty of other Satanic plots out there targeting our youths and adults"

Although the people at CRACKPOT are gearing up for the Harry Potter protests planned to coincide with the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, they are not idle in other ares. Currently they are expanding their operations to young children lured into evil practices like meditation which can lead to the dangerous following of Buddhism and other Eastern philosophies designed to trap people in the lake of eternal fire.

"We really were not aware of this danger until we exorcised that journalist that came to us last week. When we drove the demons out of her, there was a period in which she kept saying 'pika pikachu.' As a man of the cloth my duty is not only to protect my flock from evil but to set the example by avoiding the appearance of evil myself so I had never watched this program having read that it featured little pocket demons that youngsters summon into battle. A concerned parent who caught her children watching this Hellacious program to work out what was going on. A little research from trusted sites like chick.com confirmed our suspicions."

Pokémon, an animated series which has been on television for over ten years chronicles the journeys of Ash Ketchum as he tries to become a Pokémon master. Critics of the show and the related games that the show promotes have warned that it serve as a gateway game to more dangerous roleplaying games like Magic: the Gathering. When the Reverend was asked if he was aware of the difference between a collectible card game and a role paying game he said only that when it comes to tools of Satan there is no difference and the righteous should be ever vigilant against them.