From the Alcoholic X-Files: Korean Baby Mice Wine

Are Mice Really Nice on Ice?

In recent weeks, I've boldly stared death in the face by spending quality time with bottles of Inuit seagull wine, Thai scorpion vodka, Chinese snake wine, and even Asian three-lizard liquor. And yes, against every conceivable set of odds, I've actually lived to tell the harrowing tales. But as we all know, the world is never satisfied. It's always more, more, more. Well, guess what? I've found you more. A whole lot more. So without further ado, please allow me to introduce my newest alcoholic challenge: Korean baby mice wine.

Now I can tell by the look of horror on your face that an explanation for this choice is required at the outset. With that in mind, I kindly direct your attention to the Korean baby mice wine photo at the left. You see, I wasn't just intrigued by the idea of beverage rodents, or even the idea of itsy-bitsy beverage rodents. No, what really took this concoction over the top for me was the sheer amount of itsy-bitsy beverage rodents floating within. Because we're not just talking about baby mice here, folks. We're talking about a pile of baby mice. A mountain of baby mice, in fact. Like K2, only with tails. And why do people climb K2? Because it's there. Exactly.

But before anyone assumes that Korean baby mice wine is all squeak and no bite, there are actually health benefits to getting your rodent alcoholic freak on. You see, villagers who were ill and didn't have enough money to visit a doctor started brewing this concoction as a remedy for everything from asthma to liver problems. In fact, many Korean people firmly believe that baby mice wine can cure virtually anything that's wrong with the human body. Kind of like an all-purpose cleaner. Or one stop medical shopping. Come to think of it, this gives the Mighty Mouse cartoon a whole new meaning. Paul Terry would be so proud. But I digress.