Wrestling with Bad Taste

Unless you've been under a rock for the past week or so, you probably know that technical wrestling genius Chris Benoit went on a rampage when his wife accidentally cooked his steak medium rare instead of well done. Erupting into a passionate frenzy, Benoit proceeded to German suplex his wife through a table, apply the Crippler Crossface to his son, and finally finished himself with a flying headbutt into his barbell collection.

Now before you label me as some sort of monster, let me just say for the record that the "Rabid Wolverine" is a monster and most certainly doesn't deserve my respect. I know that legions of you Hulkamaniacs in pink-and-blue tights are probably ready to give me the big boot and legdrop me into the seventh layer of hell, but hear me out for a minute. Benoit wasn't the only one in the history of "sports entertainment" to lose his cool and succumb to the gamma radiation of 'roid rage and bad publicity. In fact, there are a slew of other horrible tragedies and crimes in the long timeline of Vince McMahon's brainchild:

----Triple H, our favorite walrus 'stached heel, was once arrested for performing the Pedigree to a supermarket stock employee when he was unable to find a box of Lucky Charms on the shelves. Eyewitness accounts also revealed that a small group of men proceeded to dance around the employee, telling him to "suck it."

----Stone Cold Steve Austin snapped after he played role-playing games for twenty hours straight in the summer of '99. He walked the streets looking for what he called "random encounters," and always announced his intended means of assault. With cries of "Attack!" and "Critical Hit!" Austin injured at least ten pedestrians in the area. Periodically, he would "Loot" their bodies for wallets, and drink a beer whilst shouting "Potion consumed! Fifty hitpoints healed!" When he was brought into custody, Austin's only words were lamenting why he didn't "save earlier and restart the area."