Rev. Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping

Quit Worshipping the Almighty Dollar and Have More Fun Inside Walmart Than You've Ever Had

Do you ever experience that queasy sickness in the pit of your soul after buying something that you know you don't need and vaguely suspect you don't even want? Psychologist call that feeling "buyer remorse." But somewhere out there is a man of God who thinks this feeling is much more spiritual in nature.

Welcome to Rev. Billy's Church of Stop Stopping. Rev. Billy and his followers believe that rampant consumerism is destroying our souls and our identities. By buying products branded more on image than substance, we are all playing into the hands of a corporate culture that controls us in much the way the Catholic Church controlled people during the Middle Ages. By being told what is "cool" and what is "trendy" and, even more egregiously, what we "want" big corporations are more to blame for the death of God and religion in American than liberal politicians.

Rev. Billy is very concerned about the reality and authenticity of experience. Huge faceless stores like Walmart, Target and Best Buy have removed the personal touch from the experience of shopping. Most people under thirty don't know it, but once upon a time people could actually go into a store and be known by name by the owner. Try that in your local Walmart! Rev. Billy's church is those big faceless stores; he likes to preach his message of anticonsumerism right up in the grill of the enemy.

The real centerpiece of the Church of Stop Shopping are the events. What are events, you may ask? Well, for one, there's a deliciously fun little thing called Whirlmart. Get as large a group of volunteers as possible and enter Walmart, or any other store requiring shopping carts. Each of you take a shopping cart and push it, empty, around the store. This works best when you have a large enough number of volunteers to use up every single available cart. If you've got them, then nobody can buy anything, see?