After the Divorce: Successful Single Parenting

Being a successful parent is a challenge whether there are two parents in the household, or you're going it alone. Time management, financial issues and the inevitable difficult discussions and heartbreaks come with the job of parenting. But, for single parents, these issues are often exacerbated, leaving many feeling overwhelmed.

Ultimately, raising children alone is no different than raising them with a partner; all that children want is to feel loved and safe. How you go about doing that on your own is what will determine your success as a parent.

Your first goal as a single parent is to accept the path that life has taken you on and be responsible in your new role. Bitterness and self-pity are natural feelings in divorce or death, but your children are depending on you to be strong. Find friends or a counselor to express your frustrations, but be an objective sounding board for your children. Search for the positive in negative situations. Maybe the divorce will provide a more peaceful home. Maybe the loss of a spouse will bring you and your children even closer together.

Good communication is one of the hallmarks of strong families. Allow your children to discuss their feelings openly, but, again, save negative comments for someone else. If conflicts arise, take time to cool down and address the situation rationally. Discuss possible solutions and avoid criticism. When children feel free to express their feelings without fear of criticism, a more honest, trusting relationship is formed.

Praise your children every day. Self-esteem is almost always affected when a child loses some, or all, contact with a parent. Many children will blame themselves for creating the situation, or blame themselves for not being able to fix the situation. Boost their self-esteem by pointing out all of the good things they do during the day. Point out your child's hidden talents. So your daughter isn't the best at math, but she loves to draw. Encourage that ability. Let hugs, kisses and smiles flow freely!