Lack of Rights and Freedom Endured by a Young Muslim Woman

Ten years ago, I met and developed a friendship with a young Muslim woman. Through my friend Marwa, I was granted a glimpse into a world cloaked in mystery and misunderstandings. Freedom of any kind for a woman in the Muslim world is but a fantasy.

Our first conversations were guarded and at times nearly hostile. Marwa had never spoken to an American and I had never spoken to someone from the Middle East.

In a loss of what to talk about, I told her it was my son's birthday. I explained that I had worked hard to make a cake and decorate for a party. She was incredibly surprised that I had done this.

She said growing up that she had been taught American women were so cold hearted that they did not love or care for their children.

Over the course of about a year, we shared different aspects of our lives.

She was required to wear full coverings and cover her face with a burqa whenever in public. She did not resent this, but welcomed it. She explained that beyond the teaching of her faith it eased her mind that other men could not look upon her.

Her marriage had been arranged and she met her husband only once before the wedding. In accordance with Muslim traditions, he had not seen her face until their wedding night as it was strictly forbidden.

She had no rights as a woman. Marwa often spoke of fear. Fear of breaking a rule. Fear of being caught talking to me because I was an American. Fear of her husband who beat her. She spoke often of being beaten. She accepted this willingly and explained to me that in her culture it was within her husband's rights and duty to do so.

One day I told Marwa I was not going to cook dinner because I was tired. She begged me to cook. She was afraid my husband would beat me. It was hard for her to understand that I had the right to choose not to cook. She did not have the luxury of choice in her life.