Safe Sex - the Sex Talk

In May, I approached my son, John, and handed him a box of condoms. He was a little embarrassed.

I looked at him nonchalant and said, "If you need more just tell me."

I paused. John didn't say anything, so I continued. "Look at the box, John." John looked down at it. I kept going. "Find the expiration date." I watched as John flipped it all around. When he stopped, I asked, "When do they expire?"

John replied, "October of 2010."

"Okay, you can't use them past that date. They won't be any good. Oh yeah. John?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what oral sex is?"

"Yes. We learned about it in health class."

"You know that you can catch a sexually transmitted disease that way, too, right?"

His voice became exasperated as he replied, "Yes, Mom. I learned about that in health class, too."

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure." I waved my hand towards the back of the house and said, "Go put those up."

Now, I know this will be controversial to many people. I am not saying that my view on the subject is right or wrong. I am not telling my thirteen-year-old (yes, I heard the gasps) son that it's okay to have sex. He knows how I feel about it. We have talked about it on multiple occasions. I'm also not naive. What I do know is that when he decides to take part in it, I want him safe. I don't want him unprotected because there isn't a gas station that he can put some money in to buy a "Rough Rider". I don't want him unprotected because I am too chicken to talk to him. I don't want him unprotected because there isn't a drugstore within walking distance. I don't want him unprotected because we have no Planned Parenthood's available for teenagers.

Growing up I realized two things...

*If the situation was portrayed as a: Here is my opinion but it's ultimately your choice, it put a big chunk of the moral responsibility on the child/young adult.
*If the situation was portrayed as: You can't do that because it's wrong, it's a sin, it's whatever, it usually became a mission that the child/young adult had to conquer.