Product Review: Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

Vomit, Rotten Egg, Black Pepper -- Who Could Ask for More in a Candy?

Popping the small, vaguely orange jelly bean into my mouth, my first thought is this: It's amazing what they can do with artificial flavors these days.

At least, I hope some of the flavors are artificial in Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, the jelly beans popularized by the immensely successful "Harry Potter" books and movies. Otherwise, that's really someone's vomit I'm eating. And after overcoming my revulsion and washing away the repulsive taste with a quick swig of Coca-Cola, I eat the next one -- who knows what that one is?

Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans offer a variety of, ah, interesting flavors. Booger. Earwax. Rotten Egg. Like Harry's friend Ron Weasley says in the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (or Philosopher's Stone to those of you across the pond), "When they say every flavor, they mean every flavor." Sometimes you know what's coming, because a practiced eye can tell by the jelly bean's color. Sometimes it's something new to you and it's the luck of the draw.

All fun aside, there are normal Every Flavor Bean flavors -- cherry, lemon, etc. And Every Flavor Beans are made by Jelly Belly, which means they're probably the highest quality jelly beans you'll find. Jelly Belly is not the cheapest jelly bean maker, but it's far and away the best.

But it says something about a box of jelly beans when you might actually be relieved to get one that tastes like black pepper. And that's OK. People buy Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans because they're in "Harry Potter," and eating them brings home a little bit of the "Harry Potter" universe, bizarre twists and all. There is a whole line of candy inspired by J.K. Rowling's series, including Fizzing Whizbees and Chocolate Frogs.