How to Behave and What Not Do at a Wake

There are very few people who can honestly say they enjoy going to wakes. Being put into a position where you cannot really do anything about anything can be a very frustrating and emotionally draining affair. You know that you cannot bring the departed back to life and you can only marginally assist the grieving relatives so what can you concentrate on to distract yourself and manage to get through this unpleasant time? Considering what to do and what not to do at a wake can help you to know that you are at least acting appropriately during this difficult time.

1. Should you go to this wake The obvious first step you can take to displaying appropriate wake behavior is to determine in advance whether or not to attend a particular wake. There are some wakes that are rather no brainers. Relatives, family friends, work colleagues all generally land on the list of wakes you probably should attend. But there are many wakes which really seem to fall into no man's land like old neighbors who once were close but who you have lost contact with, relatives of people with whom you once were close, recently made acquaintances and the list goes on.

The point is outside of the "the must attends" there are many wake situations where your attendance is a rather arbitrary event. To do the right thing perhaps the best thing to do is consider if your presence at the wake has the potential of really providing some degree of comfort for someone among the bereaved or not. If you know that you will simply be just another face in a sea of faces then it is often acceptable to simply send a sympathy card and skip the formal appearance. Just remember your decision should be based on what you can offer by way of support and how it might be received..