What Am I Meant to Do?

We ask ourselves hundreds of questions on a daily basis. Some are very important such as; Should I ask for a promotion? Should I go to the gym? Do pink and red really match? These things run through our minds all day, everyday. It's the really tough questions that I feel I ask myself often, that I honestly can not answer.

The first difficult life question of mine; What do I want to be when I grow up? Mind you, I am 35 years old. Some would say I am already grown up. If you ever meet me, your opinion would change. In my life I have wanted to do so many things. I wanted to be a therapist. I attended college, got my bachelors degree and became a counselor to battered women, rape victims and runaway and homeless teens. Done, right? Wrong. I then wanted corporate life.

I saw my friends and family jetting around the world, carrying laptops everywhere, getting big paychecks so they can splurge on highlights for their hair, cute shoes and designer clothes. Definitely want to be corporate. So, I research, job hunt and interview and finally land a job with a credit reporting company as a Human Resources Representative. I had offices around the south east and was able to visit them. Our headquarters were in Chicago and I spent time there for trainings and such. Cute clothes? Check. Laptop? Check. Big paycheck? Well...it was an improvement. But, I still didn't feel...fulfilled. I didn't feel like I was where I was supposed to be. Kids! My husband and I should have children!

We have two beautiful children and I was truly excited to be a stay at home mom. Watching my babies grow and change everyday was such a blessing for me. But then they got older. More independent. They went to school. Well. Now what? There is only so much laundry a woman can do before going crazy in a silent house. I needed a part time job.