Gay Life in Iowa

So as luck would have it, I'm still in Oskaloosa, Iowa awaiting for updates on my MMD status. (MMD is the document/license issued by the coast guard allowing me to work on international waters) Don't feel sorry for me just yet, Argentina. I've actually been keeping busy. On the weekdays, I tend to the sheep and on weekends I party at the local gay scene. (The local gay scene consisting of me and 18 y.o. Billy) I met Billy through a friend, and "through a friend" I mean myspace.

Last weekend I decided to take a chance, throw caution to the wind, and live it up, I took a road trip with Billy to Iowa's major metropolis: Cedar Rapids. Here we would partake in the rituals that the gay (and a few closeted overweight married men) population have been participating in since the dawn of time: drinking, dancing, and being snooty to those who are fashionably insensitive.

We were on our way to meet up with a Sanjeya in Cedar Rapids, (not the American Idol- THANK GOD!) another guy I met "through a friend." (Don't judge.) The two-hour road trip was defined with rules. I was to drive, control the musical selections, and perform a car concert with my all time favorite songs, and Billy was to keep holding the a/c button down on the front panel to force cold air out. Every once in a while I would break into a sweat, for a minute there I thought Kelly Clarkson was transcending through me, but it was Billy...letting go of the a/c button and hot air was flowing through, like Donald Trump at a news conference.

We made it to Cedar Rapids, ah, what a sight for sore eyes. The two tall buildings, the four-car traffic jam, men walking across the street in socks and sandals sporting mullets. Before introducing Billy to Sanjeya, I warned him that Sanjeya could be a bit "over the top" and to brace himself. Billy gave me a blank stare and smiled. Ah, those Iowa bred boys.

Sanjeya: What the fuck took you so long? You were supposed to be here at 6pm BITCH! (Spotting Billy) Oh Hi, I'm Sanjeya.

Billy: Hello.

Nando: I sent you a txt message telling you I was running late and I'd be here at 8pm. Didn't you get it?