The Harry Potter Movie You've Never Seen

A young boy introduced to a world of mystic wonders. A kinetic collision of the worlds of magic and the mundane, where young Harry Potter learns that magic folk live alongside normal folks. Oh, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld's Elaine Benes) gets mostly nekkid.

The movie is Troll, an upsettingly low-budget film about Harry Potter Junior, Harry Potter Senior, and family. Nine years before Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Sorceror's Stone, to some North Americans) was written, Troll featured not one but two Harry Potters, who join forces with a good witch to rescue a kidnapped sister and resist the evil magic wiles of the evil Torok. (No dinosaurs were hunted in the making of this film.) To be fair, only the younger Harry Potter joins forces with anyone. The elder Harry spends most of his time unpacking his record collection, lip-synching with 70's rock, and generally proving an embarassment to the Greatest Generation.

Why should you see this movie? Sonny Bono as a self-proclaimed "swinger" (actual line: "I am a swinger.") Shelley Hack getting slightly more screen time than she had as the fifth angel on TV's Charlie's Angels. Little people reading long poems. Inexplicably jumpy editing, unintentional humor, and plenty of intentional humor that falls so flat that you laugh in commiseration. But mostly Harry Potter.