The Truth About Men

I find it eternally amusing that most women I talk to are baffled by men. They seem to think there is some deep dark secret about guys and if they can just figure it out, it will all make sense. They look for deep meaning behind every phrase and every gesture. The women I talk to seem convinced that men must be thinking of things in some deep way. I think this is because, let's face it guys, women are better than us. No, no, don't argue the fact. Even back when women had no rights and men acted like they were in charge, the women were maniuplating things behind the scenes. You know it and I know it.

If it were up to men to have the children this species would have died out a long time ago. It is that fact alone that makes me wonder if there is some kind of intelligent design out there. I am not speaking for every man, but for myself. When I get a cold I lay in bed, moan loudly at the ceiling, wail and cry and bascially act as if the world is coming to an end and I actually had some form of Ebola virus. There are women I know who go to work while vomiting!!!! Vomiting, people!!! If I have a bad headache you can't get me out of bed. If vomit even comes to the back of my throat I call out of work. I know women who will be at work, excuse themselves, go the the restroom, vomit and then come back to work and say they can finish the day because their stomach feels better.

If it were men who had to give birth, the most horrific and painful-looking thing in the world, it would have stopped a long time ago and man would have died before they came down from the trees. I know I could not survive having a monthly period, the weight gain, the constant pressure on the bladder not to mention the whole passing-something-the-size-of-a-bowling-ball-through-a-narrow-opening part of the whole birthing experience. So, basically, women are stronger and better than us men. Consequently I suspect they may be more highly evolved than us and they think more than us. They are more emotionally connected and they expect that of us men. Well, ladies, here is the secret of men. We are not deep thinkers. We are generally base people who only want the most basic of things.