Why Hogwarts Should Be a Prerequisite for Entering the Business World

If only there was a school like Hogwarts that could prepare you for the real world. Read on for how these Hogwarts classes could be enhanced to equip every aspiring professional with the tools needed to survive in the world of business.

Ancient Runes is a class about Magical Hieroglyphs and Logograms - in other words, symbols. There are all kinds of symbols you're exposed to every day in the world of business. If you added a few chapters about interpreting non-verbal language and understanding the undercurrent of certain phrases and actions, you'd be able to see that there's more not said than said in the world of business.

Arithmancy is the study of Magical properties of numbers. The first magical number you'll be introduced to is the one on your paycheck. This class would teach you that when you take a $40,000 year job that you're really only taking $20,000 of it home because the government is taking the rest if you're American. (In some countries it's much worse.) The second magical numerical property you'll be exposed to is the imaginary grading scale used to determine the amount of your annual raise. Your superiors will tell you about the grading scale and they'll reference the grading scale often; however, they'll never actually provide you a copy of the grading scale. An Arithmancy class could teach people how to ride the system in such a manner that the grading scale is irrelevant and they receive a minimum 3% raise annually. Lastly, you'll learn about the magical properties of the number 0 as you look at the budget line item marked 'salary increases' cut out due to being over budget. Arithmancy could teach you how to move the numbers around on paper to secure yourself the money you deserve.

Astronomy is the study of Facts about the stars. Every company has them - the superstars - the ones that can do no wrong. They're also the ones who will quickly point out to you that they can do no wrong. A class like this could teach people how to (1) become a superstar; or, (2) ride the coattails of a superstar.