How To Talk to Your Elderly Parent Without Losing Your Mind

"Tell me, dear, did John die?

I take a deep breath and inwardly sigh. How many times is she gonna ask this same question? "Yes mom," I reply, trying hard not to tell her how many times she's asked if my late father-in-law passed away. However, I do add, "Like I've told you before, it was two years ago." And to think, my father-in-law was someone she once thought she might spend the rest of her life with. Yep, my mom, the widow, and my father-in-law , the widower, were once an item. But that's another story for anther time.

Is this my mom? Every time we talk on the phone, she asks the same old questions---and tells me the same tiring stories.

Yet, just bring up any day during the Great Depression of the 1930s or World War 2 and she's off running, reliving every detail.

We know her short term memory is shot, but not quite sure if she has full-blown dementia (as my husband's father who eventually died from the disease.) On one hand, she's as sharp as a tack. She does get herself ready each weekday to board the senior van to go to the local senior center where she meets other seniors and has a blast. But then, there are other times she's out to lunch, asking nonsensical questions such as "what state did you move to"? Then, she asks, "Is Ed (my husband) still at work now?"

I take another deep breath and say, "We moved to Georgia six months ago, and no, Mamma, Ed is now retired. He doesn't work anymore. "

One thing's for sure---She's old. Let's face it, "after 85 years, your computer's full," she jokingly tells me.

How do you talk and deal with your elderly parent without losing your mind?

It's not easy. But because you love them and respect them as your parents, you hang in there and pray for wisdom, realizing life is probably much harder for them that it is for you.