Taming the Terrible Temper Tantrum

We all know the scene, right parents? We take our seemingly good-natured child to the grocery store--even though they have not had their nap and they are starving--and hope for a good shopping experience. NOT! We arrive there, list in hand, child in cart and not more than two isles over, little Chrissy or Timmy sees their favorite cereal or candy bar. They whine, "mom, I want some." You--in a polite voice, say, "not today honey." All heck breaks loose and before long, your angel of a child is throwing the inevitable temper-tantrum. Your face goes a crimson red, you try hushing your child as other shoppers give you glares and shakes their head. You witness your child on the fifthly floor, or squirming in the cart, as they kick their legs, scream bloody murder and wail as if they had been shot. By now, your blood pressure has risen about thirty points and your nerves are shot! So...how do you head off a temper-tantrum? Here are some tried and true things that have worked for me as well as people I know. 1. Before you leave, make sure they have had something to eat. No kid, or adult for that manner, can go to a grocery store hungry and not want to walk out with everything from the store. The best thing to feed them is something with substance. Not sugar. 2. If they are toddlers and are still in diapers, check them. If they are messy--change them! Who wants to smell that wonderful, pungent smell all through the store? Plus, your child will feel much more comfortable. 3. Take them way before their nap or about 30 minutes after. If you take them before their nap, be prepared for a tantrum. If you take them too soon after their nap, they are still groggy and may resent you from letting them slowly wake up. 4. Tell them before you leave what you expect and let them know what you won't tolerate. I usually tell my children, "what are the rules when going to the store?" They roll their eyes and say, "no running, no asking for things and no whining." They know before hand and they also know the consequences if they disobey, which brings me to my next tip. 5. Tell them the consequences for their actions--whether they be good or bad. If my children are really good in the store, sometimes I may surprise them with an ice-cream cone or their favorite video--not always, but once in a while, kids like to know that they are doing what is right. Again, if they choose to disobey, they will have consequences for that too. Just make sure the punishment fits the crime (so to speak) 6. Pick your battles. I often find myself in a situation where my daughter wants her favorite cereal or tic-tacks and I bend and say yes. To me, something so trivial as tic-tacks are not worth the tantrum that could ensue. Now, I am not saying give in every time, because then, well, they have you wrapped around their tiny little finger. My mother always said, "I worried about the big things, not the small things." We as parents need to figure out what is important to say no to and what can slide by. 7. In the middle of a tantrum--and I know we all hate to do this--tell them you will leave the store and they will not get any food to eat. Sometimes it takes leaving your cart somewhere and walking outside with your child. Letting them know you mean business will make them see that their tantrums are only getting them into trouble. If we keep a cool head about tantrums, children will eventually get the hint. 8. If they are old enough, have them help with the shopping. Have them compare sale prices to regular and even bring a calculator for them to use. I am going off the target here for a minute, but this is just as important. A lesson can be learned when we take our kids with us. They learn the value of money and what is essential to live on and what we should do, so as not to exceed our budget limit. Just last week I took my kids shopping--all three of them--because it was spring break. Towards the end, I knew in my head I had overspent. The cashier rang up my purchases and my eyes widened when I saw the total. I walked out and felt in my heart, that I needed to go back and take some of the "wants" that I had purchased and make the money fit into my budget. I was embarrassed, but I taught my children a lesson that day. When I walked out, I told them that I made a mistake on my grocery limit and that I needed to take back some things, so that we were under our limit. They were very understanding and wanted to make sure we didn't go over our budget. They realized that mom could not buy everything they wanted and so they didn't make a fuss. Tantrums can be ugly and downright humiliating, but if we play our cards right, know what to expect and have a plan ready; we can conquer tantrums and make shopping a pleasant experience for all.