Ten More Reasons Why I Believe Rachael Ray is the Devil

1. In her Iron Chef: America battle with Giada De Laurentis, she made brownies using Alton Brown's first born child.

2. "Unwrapped" host Mark Summers is never shown standing because Rachael Ray got mad at him after watching him on an old episode of Nickelodeon's "Double Dare" and made him eat his own legs.

3. My dog is afraid of her.

4. One time, I said her name three times and she appeared in my living room.

5. One of her seafood recipes calls for "the voice of one mermaid"

6. She actually has a recipe for "Tofu Jambalaya" (This is 100% VERIFIABLY TRUE...the horror....the horror)

7. One of her "great for kids" recipes is "Spaghetti Topped with Big Pile o'Glass and Rusty Syringes"

8. She actually has a recipe called PUPPY BURGERS! (This is ALSO 100% VERIFIABLY TRUE......Google it if you think I'm lying.....go ahead..................................See? told you!)

9. Cthulu is one of her myspace friends

10. She recently told an autograph seeker, "There is no Rachael Ray, only Zul."