To Sex or Not to Sex

At 28 years old, I thought I would've been married by now with at least one child and a growingly successful career. But life is funny and things don't work out the way we plan often times.

I've always wanted to be married before having children, but since marriage is a sacred institution I knew it was not to be taken lightly.

My late teens to mid-twenties were spent partying, dating men and 'just having fun.' I took advantage of the too nice guys, while I kept falling for the guys that didn't want a real relationship with me. It never dawned on me that breaking hearts would result in mine being broken.

Now, I'm older and wiser, I've learned from past failed relationships. I've sabotaged relationships with good men because I was scared or just plain stupid. Sometimes I wish I could go back and fix some of those mistakes. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so I'm going to keep moving forward and learn from my mistakes. Now that I'm ready for the real thing, all I come across is imitation. I'm waiting for my prince to find me, but I'm swimming in a sea of frogs.

I haven't had a "boyfriend" in years now, but I've kept a pretty steady stream of booty calls, friends with benefits or buddies, which ever term you prefer. Sex was something I was good at. It gave me the intimacy that I needed, made me feel loved and desired. Although I can honestly admit that I have never been in love, It's funny how sex can make you think you are in that moment.

I knew that sex is a special intimacy that was created to be enjoyed within a married relationship. I knew that my body is a temple and should be treasured. Being so close to someone physically is meant to create an emotional bound, why try to separate the two?