The Dirty Secret : Abuse in Families and the Scars it Leaves

Abuse in itself is any ugly word. For those of us who have been abused as children, just the word can make us think about the trauma which we once endured. My past does still haunt me, not as often as it used to, but definitely more than I would like it to.

The problem is how can we as adults protect our children from the abuse we suffered? And how can we heal from the pain of abuse. Physical abuse is not the only type of abuse. There are many types of abuse which can impact the life of a child for many years or even the rest of their lives.

In all actuality there are six types of abuse. These types are: physical, sexual, verbal, social, economic, and spiritual abuse. While a few of these are more likely to be linked to domestic violence than childhood abuse, I will however discuss briefly the symptoms of each type of abuse.

Physical abuse is just that. It includes hitting, smacking, striking another person in a harmful way. This can also be breaking things in a deliberate or forceful manner. This could be an abusive partner who smashes your Hummel collection because they know you love it.

Sexual abuse is any type of touching that is non consensual, unwanted and harmful towards another person. It can be forcing the other person to perform sexual acts on themselves or the perpetrator. Sexual abuse is typically performed by someone that the victim knows. This can be a parent, a relative, a neighbor, teacher or trusted family friend. Usually the predator will “groom” the victim, as in prepare them by setting the stage for what will happen next. This could be bribery, or threats.

Verbal abuse is yelling, name calling obscene language, deliberately using insults and putting the person down in a hurtful way. While there are many parents who yell at their spouse or children, many do not use insults or verbal assaults to get their point across.