How Do You Know Why Someone Wants to Marry You?

The unusually good news that's being lost in your email is this:

The man who got you pregnant is extremely happy and wants to marry you.

Do you know how many pregnant women pray for such a man?

You didn't twist his arm. You didn't threaten him with child support. You didn't give him any ultimatums. It sounds to me like you had an accident and this guy is deciding to treat it as a happy accident.

But your question is a good one, as it touches on something more universal than being pregnant.

How do you know WHY someone wants to be with you?

What's interesting is that some people, like you, care about a person's motivation. Others are more concerned with the end result. "I'm gonna have a ring on my finger? Sweet. Where do I sign up?"

I think the arenas in which this question of motivation surfaces most often are with beautiful women and wealthy men.

There are women who'd be appalled at being considered a trophy wife, yet there are those who readily (greedily?) embrace the role. There are men who refuse to list their incomes when registering on dating sites, yet there are those who willingly flaunt their credentials on WealthyMen and MillionaireMatch. None of these people can ever be sure if someone is enamored with them or their tangible assets.

The real question for these people is whether it matters.Motivation matters for most of us. We want to be loved, respected and accepted for who we are. We have a ton of flaws and it's wonderful when we can find someone who will put up with them. Of course, we don't spend much time thinking about our own issues. Instead, we focus on the problems in the people we date. All of us want someone who is attractive, kind, honest, successful, generous, fit, creative, and low-maintenance - even if we are not all of those things ourselves.

This is why we're still single.