Applying Psychological Theories to Maggie's Decision on Love and Marriage in The Mill on the Floss

Attachment Theory, Theories of Interpersonal Relationships, and the Triangular Theory of Love

Maggie's relationship with Stephen differs from her relationship with Philip. According to the triangular theory of love, Maggie's and Stephen's relationship is characteristic of "fatuous love", consisting of intense passion which quickly develops into decision/commitment (Sternberg 1998, 21). These two components are illustrated in their intense physical attraction to one another (passion), declarations of love to one another (decision), and their commitment to one another via marriage (even though Maggie's commitment may not be as strong as Stephen's). In contrast, Philip and Maggie's relationship involves intimacy and decision/commitment which together make up "companionate love", as described by the triangular theory of love (Sternberg 1998, 20). These two components of love are portrayed in their awareness of each other's interests and family background (intimacy), as well as their confessions of love (decision) and allusions to being there for one another (commitment). Considering the two types of love that Maggie receives from both men, it is obvious that each relationship is unique. Maggie's relationship to Stephen contains both passion and decision/commitment but lacks intimacy; whereas, her relationship to Philip contains both the components of intimacy and decision/commitment but lacks passion.

The Conflict between Passion and Intimacy

So why does Maggie fall in love with Stephen, but not with Philip? For one thing, Maggie's and Stephen's relationship involves passion, the component of love that she has never experienced in any of her relationships with others. As a matter of fact, the passion between Maggie and Stephen is so strong that Maggie often feels tempted to spend time with him, despite the fact that he is engaged to Lucy. In the same token, the passion component is so prominent in their relationship that it makes Maggie disregard the intimacy component that is missing. Therefore, due to the presence of the passion component, the relationship between Maggie and Stephen is more powerful than the intimate relationship between her and Philip. In other words, the passion aspect is the component underlying her love for Stephen; likewise, the absence of passion is the underlying reason for why Maggie does not love Philip.

Why Maggie Loves Stephen