We Don't Have to Die Alone

As a reporter, I write about many fundraisers and benefits for people with a wide variety of illnesses. The community has always pulled through to help these people and their families. It is disheartening to know how many people we have in our communities are truly hurting and down trodden whether due to health related, financial, or spiritually issues.

From a nursing perspective, I have worked with patients in nursing homes, hospitals, and in home, as well as provided health education training through such companies as Abbott Labs.

The hardest part of that career was dealing with death, especially a death where there is no family to hold their hand as they slowly slipped away. Many of these people go through an agonizing period of resolution of "past wrongs" before they die and need to hear that they are forgiven and loved. Most often this comes from the staff that cares for them.

When a dying person would say "I want to go HOME" it normally meant they were ready to die (they usually did within a short period of time), I would grant them permission saying, "It's okay grandma (or grandpa we understand."

I call them grandma and grandpa because these patients become like family and the loss is like the loss experienced when there is a death in our own families. It is not meant disrespectfully but very affectionately. Unfortunately, many of these people do not die with dignity. ( I know I made that process easier though.)

Recently, loss touched my life again but in a more blessed way. My mother-in-law recently passed away and her death was one of dignity and filled with much love.

I came out of hibernation as a nurse, when the family decided to bring her home after an unfavorable medical diagnosis. With the help of Hospice we were able to fulfill her last wish to return home after living in the Lake Shore Nursing Home for a number of years. We made arrangements with Hospice to get what we needed for supplies, a bed, medications, support staff and all the children pulled together to make her final wish come true.