Finding Out "Dad" is Not Your Biological Father

I have always wondered what is that makes a man a dad. I recently read an article by fellow CP Regina Sunderland that answers that question very clearly. So clearly that the title is "What Makes a Man a Dad?" Knowing what makes one a dad is one thing, but what about the children who have to live a life with a man who refuses to stand up to his parental responsibilities? What is it like to later find out who your sperm donor is? Especially, when he is not the person you so perfectly envisioned in your mind.

I was raised alone by my single mother, with some assistance from my grandmother. I remember asking about my father, but do not recall my mom's answers. I knew his name was John and that was all. When I was eight, my mom met a man who she married and later adopted me. Bruce was an alcoholic, ex-military man who thought that beating me would whip me "into shape." Yet, he was physically there for me. He was the one who taught me many important life lessons. Despite the fact that I have not talked to Bruce since my mom divorced him when I was 16, I guess that he is still my "dad."

I did not meet my biological father until I was 10 when I called him up, unexpectedly, to ask for a relationship. He then fell into the category of a "father". John tried to be a dad, but he never knew how. I have been told that I have four older half-sisters that he was never a father to either, so I guess that I was the lucky one, to get what little I did. I have not talked to John in three years. It is just easier this way, to miss him without having to face him only to be saddened by the state of our pathetic relationship.