The Life of a Single, Stay at Home Mom

If you are a single stay at home parent then you probably know what it is like to loose identity, to feel trapped, to feel isolated and alone. Because parenting requires so much devotion, parents who do the job alone began to loose themselves.

I have a friend who went from an outgoing socialite to an insecure recluse, when she decided to stay at home with her child. Every moment and minute of her time was spent catering to and entertaining her child. She had family around but never asked for help because she felt as though she should take full responsibility of caring for her child. Her child's father was only allowed to visit once a month, so she really was doing this parenting job alone. She said that being with her child was ideal because she did not want to throw her child into daycare and have someone else raise her own child and she did not have the available funds for childcare. She said it made her happy to be a stay at home mom, but I knew deep down inside she wanted out, not necessarily out, she jut wanted a break but she was scared.

She was scared to separate from her daughter because she did not want to hear all the crying and screaming, and she did not want to feel the guilt of going out and enjoying herself while her child was with a sitter without mommy. She admitted to being scared that if she left her child on a regular basis that their bond would break, and she would no longer feel important in her child's life, because her child would have bonded with the caretaker. She said as though she had this strong feeling of having and needing to be there all the time for her daughter. She said that she wanted to always be there for her daughter because it was her responsibility her duty. She also admitted that her mother was available to take her daughter off of her hands but she refused help because she did not want her child to favor her grandmother over her.