Marriage Communication Do's and Don'ts

Can we talk? For many couples, this is a bewildering question. For some, talking means seeing who can yell the loudest. Others try a surly silence. (There! That'll fix ‘em!) The answers lie somewhere in between. Let's examine five concerns that can come between two people trying to communicate on a deeper level.

Lack of Unity - Divide and Conquer

After the wedding, romantic notions of absolute unity soon run smack dab into the brick wall of annoying habits and disparate thinking patterns. Unity begins with like thinking, which begins with satisfying conversation, which happens in an atmosphere of love, acceptance and open-mindedness. Bottom line - no put-downs, plenty of sincere praise when called for and vocalizing your appreciation for all the things your spouse does for you. Also, being willing to admit it when you've made a mistake, will go a long way to reassuring your partner that you don't expect perfection from him/her, either. Gradually, your understanding of each other will expand beyond the larger issues of faith and family to include things like individual habits and needs. Create as many areas of commonality between you as you can so that you can spend more time talking and sharing.

Anger - Cheap Shots In The Dark

Bang! A couple of words fired off in anger and communication is just another lifeless body in the library. Anger wants you to believe that yelling will help you to get your point across but sharp tongues at ten paces only shred what's left of loving feelings and replaces them with a spirit of competition that's not useful in solving problems. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and never assume the worst before you have all of the facts. There is a way to make a connection between the male "if I ignore it, it will go away" and the female "but I need to talk now!"