Divorce Court Top Ten

Top Ten List -- Things NOT To Do When Getting Divorced

When you're getting a divorce, everybody's an expert and wants to tell you what you should do. Here are the top ten things you should AVOID doing when you're contemplating or going through a divorce.


10. Don't rush into anything. Your mama said you can't hurry love. What she may not have told you is that you shouldn't hurry divorce either. Wedding vows remind us that marriage isn't something to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly. News flash: Neither is divorce. Before you rush down to the courthouse to file divorce papers, seek legal counsel. Consider the consequences. Look at it from every angle-emotionally, financially, legally. In most cases, divorce should be the last resort, exercised only after you've tried all other options.

9. Don't sit on the fence. Once you've made your decision and are certain divorce is the answer, don't waffle. Now is not the time to pull the bandage off slowly. Rip it off! It may sound cruel, but once you're sure of the inevitable, taking decisive action is actually the kindest thing you can do in the long run to quell false hopes and allow the healing to begin. Don't waste years of your spouse's life (and your own) riding the proverbial fence.

8. Don't let guilt get the best of you. You broke his heart and you feel badly about it. Well, it's great that you have a conscience. But don't let guilt muddy up the waters when it comes to something that is essentially a business transaction. Say you're sorry. Visit your shrink. Write, "I'm a cold, heartless scoundrel" 100 times on the blackboard. By all means, work through the guilt. But in the meantime, let your attorney negotiate a divorce settlement that is fair not only to your spouse, but to you, too.