Marriage for the Second Time?

This Time, Get it Right

If you are looking to marry for the second or even third time, before you do, make sure to take a look inside of yourself. What happened to the previous marriages? Why did they end? To insure your subsequent marriages don't fail, you'll need to answer these hard questions.

There are many reasons why marriages end: money problems, expectations of the partners is too high, self-esteem problems, marrying too young - and if you don't figure out exactly why your marriage failed and own up to it, you'll be looking at another day in divorce court.

Marriage is intrinsically overloaded with stress, because when two people come together, it's never really just two people. It's entire families. Everyone has strange relatives somewhere in their family tree and people are bound to not get along, there is always going to be friction somewhere. So what is it you need to change about yourself - before taking the leap again? Ask yourself these questions:

Did I hold my partner up too high on a pedestal - did I expect too much?

Did I think my partner would tolerate my bad behavior and habits?

How did I treat my partner? Did I give them compliments? Was I too judgmental or bitter?

Did I help boost my partner's self esteem through compliments to friends and family when he/she was and wasn't listening?

Did the love you feel for your partner ever blossom into compassion? If you were constantly preoccupied with how your partner was treating you, then you did not allow yourself to treat them with respect and caring.

Marriage becomes more and more stressful as the months and years wear on. Children enter the arena, aging parents pull on time and resources, even pets age and become sources of tension. A change in jobs, location and even friends and interests can build stress levels within a marriage so high, what was once love, has turned into hate.

Try to look through the eyes of your ex-mate to see how you acted during disagreements and times of tension. How can you improve on your techniques?