Being a Modern Witch in a Small Local Town

I dun upset the locals again. They're all really mad at me, only this time they have branded me a scarlet letter. Mhm... this must be serious.

One of em' told me I better hit the road, I better take the next bus out, I better get on outta town, I better move along, I better hitch a ride, no matter how I do it, I better do it soon, I have to go away! Uh oh!

You see, I've been deemed a witch because I wrote an article on a local bar in town, the article was a negative one, and I musta upset a bunch of drunks and hookers, for tellin' it like it is! Uh oh!I plea the fif!

I just got the news though and I haven't much time to pack, someone rang into my job and left a nasty message. Uh oh!

I figure maybe I will be like Stewie and Brian Griffin and take the road to Rhode Island, or maybe go to Hawaii and ride the waves out to sea. Hopefully the mermaids would accept me, even with my reputation.

I better hurry home though, rumor has it they're headed toward my way with pitchforks in one hand and torches in the other, yep the locals deemed me a witch...I'm done for, I'm toast. No pun! They may be hard to outrun, but I shall try my best. You see it's bad mojo when your whole town votes in one by one and claims you are a witch. It's real bad mojo, just look what happened to them chicks in Salem!

It's nothing uncommon this day and age still, a teacher actually got fired in my state for supposedly being a witch. She got away though, and rumor has it with a suitcase filled with money...yep, she sued em', lucky for her, I wish I knew her secret. The only suitcase I'm leaving with it the one filled with old clothes, and my grimoire... I mean...journal. Yes, my travelers journal.

I have to stop off at Kohl's first though and pick up some 'normal' clothes. You see running around town dressed in a black and a long pointy hat with a broom in tow, and they are bound to find me, and fast. I have a few tricks up my sleeve though, a few tricks indeed. The locals call these tricks 'spells', see how ignorant some of them are?