BDSM 101: The Basics of Bondage and Beyond

The TV portrays this lifestyle as taboo and usually out of control. They do not however do enough research to understand the reasons behind it, and the loving couples that practice this life. The following is some general information and some reasoning as to why this isn't such a terribly controlling fetish, just another way of living.

First there are some definitions to follow as to what BDSM stands for.

1. B & D - Bondage and Discipline
2. D & S - Domination and Submission
3. S & M - Sadism and Masochism

One of the things to keep in mind is that BDSM does not always mean a sexual relationship; however it should and must always mean a trusting relationship. Due to BDSM being intense and very overwhelming having any "scenes" or interactions like this with someone you do not trust will just create fear and animosity. Many people that enjoy the please of Dominance and Submission are deeply bonded friends that share nothing but this experience, no sex is involved ever. However a bigger majority are couples that live in what they call the vanilla world, and just delve into Sadism and Masochism in their private lives.

A major saying with people that live the BDSM lifestyle is SSC- Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If a person is a true Dominant or Submissive they live those rules and do not push far enough for someone to get killed or even hurt more than they truly want to anyway. Most D/s couples have safe words for the submissive to say when they have been pushed farther than they can handle.