Russian Adoptions, Ten Years Later: Blessing or Nightmare?

In the fall of 1997, my three year old daughter, my soon husband-to-be and I headed to the former Soviet Union to pick up my two new sons. It was a great adventure. I had spent most of my time following a short-lived marriage preparing for this time. I was thirty-four when I had my daughter. Just about old enough for me. I had a successful career. I was ready to have something more in my life. Adoption procedures were set in motion in July of 1996. For a long time, I had known that if I ever grew up I would have more than one child. Pregnancy for me was highly overrated so I knew if my family were to increase it would be through adoption. I met my future husband in September of 1996 and as time progressed, the relationship became serous. My plans for adoption were revealed early on and he whole heartedly supported me. I figured if we could spend a month in a foreign land jumping through hoops to adopt the two boys that would be a good indicator for a long term relationship and marriage. Since the paperwork was all started when I was still single, the adoptions were completed by me as a single parent.

After we returned to the States, there was, of course the initial adjustment period. Alex was three years old and Jack had just turned two. Bathtubs for instance, were killer monsters. I remember one night I put them both in the bathtub and they started screaming. I added bubbles and the screaming escalated. Then I threw in rubber duckies and they knew it was all over! Items like apples, eaten cores and all, were devoured as was any part of the chicken, including the bones. Trips to the grocery store were chaotic when all three were together. While loading one in the cart, the other two would take off and want to be picked up by whatever adult they saw first. My daughter picked this up quickly and loved this activity since she instinctively knew it irritated me. They never knew a stranger then or had reactive attachment disorder if you are into labels. They got over it.