The Key to Avoiding Problems with Problem Solving

Problems are like bad-hair days: Everyone has them, yet nobody really likes them. Given three minutes, you could no doubt rattle off lots of problems that exist at home or at work. They might include issues with kids or mother-in-laws or customers or employees or neighbors or pets or co-workers. A show of hands would reveal that every one of us knows all about problems. Or do we?

Identifying the problem is the tricky part. That may sound like a no-brainer, but it isn't. Many of us are not very good at it. But once we learn how to do it, the job of finding a solution gets easier. Let's say your 7-year-old and 11-year-old come in the back door and throw their jackets in the corner of the kitchen floor. You call them back and tell them to hang them up. They do it, but after a few days they're back into the same habit. You ask, you nag, you accuse them of being lazy and sloppy, and it goes on and on this way. If you were having coffee with a friend, you may say something like, "My kids are so lazy - they just throw their coats on the kitchen floor every time they come in." That's the problem, right? They're just plain lazy and must be trained every single day. Whoa, not so fast. You expect them to use actual hangers way far away in the front closet or in their rooms? C'mon. Even you know that can be a drag, and you're old. The real problem is that it is not easy enough for your kids to learn how to be neat. Screw in a few hooks by the back door so there can be no excuse. Problem solved - after a few reminders perhaps-and everyone is happy.