Breaking the Cycle of Abuse for Yourself

If you have ever been a victim of any form of abuse and you continue to live in an environment where that person still makes an impact on your life, you can choose to break the cycle of abuse.

This is not an easy choice but it may be a life healing decision that brings you to the point of finally getting to enjoy life for the first time in your life. This happened with me after I was 42 years old. Before this I had no idea what it was like to be 'emotionally healthy'.

Abuse, regardless of what kind it is, is cyclical and multi-generational. People who grow up in abusive situations don't know how life would be without it, unless they had a healthy life before the abusive situation was presented to them. So we tend to also marry a person who is also abusive. This is because that personality is what we are accustomed to living with.

Unfortunately abuse causes the victim to have low self-esteem and often thinks that they did 'something' to cause the abuse. The abuser makes us feel unworthy to even be around. Like we are not good enough - no matter how hard we try.

I lived with abuse probably since I was born. The only abuse that I'm aware of being a victim of is emotional abuse. After my mother was killed we were never allowed to talk about her by our guardians. I was five going on six at the time. The entire situation, because of the nature of her death and our father being convicted of her death, was swept under a rug. We were simply moved many states away and expected to go on with life.
The parents that raised us were not a blood relative, but instead an adopted younger sister of our mother's. From here forward this woman is referred to as mother.

Emotional abuse continued throughout the years in a variety of ways. There were words telling us we weren't grateful enough and words making us feel guilty for leaving anything out. We would hear our mother slam doors and cupboards when she was mad about something. And our father, when he was around, just sat silently by - saying nothing.