Man Survives 50-Foot Fall from Tree!

I'm often remembered as the guy who fell out of the tree. Acquaintances will ask if I was the guy who broke my back when I fell. Family and friends have heard the story too many times, so they don't bring it up anymore. Yes, I'm the guy.

What was I doing 50 feet up a tree? This is typically the next inquiry, but the one that baffles me. What about climbing a tree is not considered constructive recreation...especially from a relatively intelligent, healthy, twenty-one year old male? The logic that's always evaded me is how the buddy that watched me fall could climb back up to measure the height. Had I witnessed that event from the branch he was on, I would have had to have been forcefully extracted from my death grip.

My poor Mom. She gets a call that her son was in an accident. The call comes as no surprise as this sort of thing has become more the rule than the exception. I guess she was a little taken aback upon arrival at the hospital to find me attached to a number of artificial body functions. There were tubes inserted to clear blood from the kidneys, tubes to draw unmentionable fluids from the stomach, and a tube to allow the functions we most take for granted.

I seem to be able find the irony in most situations. I was apparently saved from a worse fate due to my excellent physical condition. As I struggle to remove the additional 70 pounds that have found their way to my body since then, the irony settles in like a double quarter pounder with cheese. I am nonetheless excited to be able to attribute my prolonged stay on earth to my physical excellence at age 21!

My first week in the hospital consisted of an ice chip diet, baths in bed, and the coveted pain shot in the hip. The baths were not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the personnel on a given shift. The hip shots were my reason for living. I would never previously have thought I would not only look forward to a shot, but base my entire existence around it. I would count the minutes until the next one, and rarely was I forced to wait longer than the allotted time.