Preventative Counseling: Learning Communication Before Trouble Starts

Communication is key in relationships of every type. Human beings are capable of verbal and non-verbal communication and by five months of age are typically capable of reacting to sounds and vocalizing pleasure and displeasure. Throughout childhood we are taught to give and share as well as receive but how well does this prepare us for a committed relationship in adulthood?

When a child is brought up under perceived normal conditions and learns values, morals, and ethics, will that child automatically be ready to forge blindly into the world making friends and communicating effectively with partners and others? What if the child does not grow up under perceived normal circumstances but instead is abused, neglected, or perhaps is an only child, or placed in foster care at a crucial age?

When I see troubled teenagers who have been placed into "the system" I unfairly judge them as having weak characters. I expect little out of them in society. If one teenage girl reaches age 21 with no children and no jail time under her belt I see her as a success story.

If she manages to keep even a part-time job she has achieved greatness in my eyes. I do not even consider that this same girl will find a healthy relationship with a partner. I expect only abusive exploitative men to seek her company and she, knowing no better, will revel in theirs. I am not a bigot; I simply see situations for what they are.

Though the above example may be extreme, children and young adults are not fully prepared to communicate with people they will be forming relationships with and my opinion is that more could be done before the trouble ever arises.

We are offered courses for communicating effectively at work, classes for communicating with each other prior to marriage, therapy for communicating with a spouse once marital troubles have been identified, and seminars to learn effective nonverbal communication to advance successfully. What about the neglected group of young adults ages 18-25 who are seeking something meaningful in the dating world and failing time after time?